My Dear Mr. Spider,
While I sat innocently at my desk, working and taking care of business needs, you felt it was acceptable to drop down from a web. Not in the corner of my office, where you MAY have remained safe for the evening. Not behind me, where you MIGHT have remained unnoticed, as I was quite immersed in my work. But instead, you drop down in FRONT of me and touch my face; my nose specifically.
That horrible noise that alerted all of my neighbors that I had indeed stopped working and something “horrific” had happened, was as you guessed, directly related to your presence. You extended your long slender legs and as I so “gracefully” stood up from my chair and attempted to untangle the “miles of web” that I felt encasing me, you (seemingly without a care in the world) disappeared into either my black desk chair or the dark rug beneath.
Did you not realize that I would spend the next half hour hunting you down, no matter the personal cost?! You cannot simply assault a lady in such a fashion and expect to lurk away, tormenting my imagination for the remainder of the evening.
No Mr. Spider, I can be a determined person when challenged to be so. I ultimately won this battle and thanks to you, have checked the ceiling above me numerous times since your departure.
Ms. Arachnid-free (for the moment anyway)
OK, back to work …
As I reformatted and prepared to re-post this blog post from 2015, I did indeed check the ceiling a “few” times.